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PandEPIK Pandemonium

PandEPIK Pandemonium Tales of a Southern Gent leaving everything behind to teach English in Seoul, South Korea.

Carpe Diem. Carpe Omnia.

Two things just happened within a nanosecond:

  1. Got an e-mail from the parentals inquiring about my return date as it relates to whether or not they should add me to their medical insurance policy for the next year…
  2. Suddenly developed a strong, instinct-esque urge, deep in my gut, to stay in Korea for an extra year, accompanied by the wholly unsubstantiated (yet still absolutely paralyzingly terrifying) feeling that going home would for some inexplicable reason be horrible/regrettable/the end of the world.

Correlation? (>_<)”“

Sadly, things are rarely ever this simple… I keep putting off making this decision, but real life is starting to rear its ugly head… What to do, what to do…

Why does reality, in these moments, suck so much?

(ㅠ.ㅠ)

This video is amazing. It may be filled with a lot of platitudes, but those messages say a lot of what I hope my life will be. The video’s parting words are:

Live your dream…
… and share your passion.

I wish life really were this black-and-white, this easy… but with responsibilities to consider, family obligations, and a stable career/future all on the line, the decision is never black-and-white, never this easy…

Then again, that’s the more traditional approach to life, I suppose, and even “home” is relative.  I guess even after a year abroad, I’m still lost and trying to figure out which direction I want to take, heh. =/

When I left the States, I thought that by this point, I’d have everything figured out already… =(

A good friend said:

Think about it. Go to sleep. The first thing your brain tells you to do AS SOON AS YOU OPEN YOUR EYES the next morning, will be the answer to your question. Your subconscious will guide you.

Now I’m terrified of sleeping, of what tomorrow morning will bring.

But even this friend said that if he had my 1.5-year contract, he wouldn’t renew. ARG!!!

Decisions, decisions…

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